«Higher» videoclip by 12/20

nati jimmy

I think this is the first time in the last month where I sat in an actual chair, took a sip of coffee and opened my blog. These last couple of days have been a mad, crazy, chaos. I am packing everything, leaving our apartment, recording new music and shooting a video.

Not to mention my constant panic and anxiety attacks.

I am loving it though. It may sound crazy but I think this drastic change is wonderful. It may seem a little weird but I have a lot of energy lately. (Except at the end of the video shoot when I did faint.)

So enough of the complains and let’s talk about the new video clip!

Fun, fun and more fun. We didn’t have the luxury of organizing and preparing the mega production for the video and we had to improvise along the shooting. But it came out pretty cool. We laughed and had fun. This is one of the things I enjoy the most.

The video will be ready in a couple of months. I wanted to tell you guys I am still here. I have not taken a vacation or a time out. I am working and working and soon I will share more exciting news! Hopefully «The Golden Limoncello» will soon get back on track.

Have a wonderful weekend!

So yes, I am a dreamer

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I dream every-single-night.

I even dream when I take a nap. I wake up and rewind my dream to see how much I can remember. I write it down. I sometimes encounter people I love that are not here anymore. My grandfather often appears in my dreams, he talks to me and I feel him really close. My father-in-law Mr. Carmelo often visits me and is part of my dream scene. Sometimes I dream I am singing on top of my voice and it is the best feeling in the world. Have you ever had the joy of dreaming you are flying?

I am truly free in this imaginary world of mine.

I also have nightmares and many nights I have woken up crying with bitter tears. I have to take a minute to realize it was just a dream and come back to reality. This happens rarely, but I also giggle sometimes and laugh. My boyfriend finds this funny and he is the one who tells me when I do. Imagine how freaked out he must feel sometimes having the person next to him deep asleep and giggling.

I told this to my neurologist and she told me it was fantastic that I did remember them. Not everybody does.

I don’t have to fall asleep to keep on dreaming, sometimes reality is so raw that all we see is black and white scenarios. But my dreams are colorful and I can turn them in anything I want to…

 

I really tried…

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When I was a little girl I tried to look like my mom. I looked up to her and I thought she was the most beautiful woman alive. She was a model back in her days and when I saw her pictures I was proud showing it to all my friends telling them how beautiful my mom was. I wanted to be just like her.

After I grew up, circa 11 years, I wanted to be like my dad; funny and witty. I loved that about him. So I mimicked all his jokes.

In school I tried to fit in the «popular» group and after some failures, I tried to fit in the «rebel» kids group. No success at all. 

Once I reached high school, my goal was to be a dancer, so I followed my inspirations (Polina Semionova and Alessandra Ferri) and tried to be like them. I wanted to dance just like them (just to find out that I had my own way of dancing and it was pretty cool too.)

I tried to be a normal girl: I tried to fit in so many groups that it made me the most unhappy person in the whole world. I spent time with people I didn’t like just to «fit in», I partied, I drank and I even started smoking. Deep inside I hated all those things.

So I have come to the conclusion that I really don’t have to «fit» anywhere. I fit me. I am me. I have my good and my bad traits. I am stubborn, nervous and sometimes grumpy. But I am also kind, organized and funny (well I think I am). I love to dance and sing. I would never picture myself having a girly night out or clubbing until I drop. I don’t like crowds so I don’t like concerts (except Britney’s).

Normal is overrated. Don’t fit it, stand out.

Be you, I know you are pretty awesome. 

 

Feeling a little creative

Since I came back from my vacation, I am feeling artsy. Yes, that happens to me sometimes. As I got home, I cleaned, organized everything inside and did a lot of laundry. Then I looked around and got into that let’s-give-a-little-makeover-to-the-house mood. So I gathered five DIY tutorials that I will try soon.

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-The first one I am going to try is this tutorial from Harpers Happenings. I have a frame that I bought two years ago and it has been moved from place to place with no specific purpose. This is a lovely idea.

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-I will spray paint an old rock I have in the balcony and I am going to use it as a book holder like Bri from «Design Love Fest» did in her office makeover.

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-There is something about gold spray paint that makes any object feel pretty. It’s shiny and glamorous. Hey! That is why I used it in my blog’s name. Smart girl right? 🙂 I used it in this tutorial too. The picture above is from the Style Me Pretty blog.

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– My balcony needs this. I can’t wait to try it! Found this tutorial at www.bloomize.com.

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– I would love to try this in the hallway. Let’s see Jimmy agrees to it! Picture and tutorial from http://www.laurenconrad.com.

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I would love to know if you guys have any ideas too add to my inspiration board? Let me know!

 

 

Inner peace

«Not all those who wander are lost» 

-J.R.R Tolkien

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Everyday I take a five minute break where I calmly wander. I do this alone and find it really soothing. It has helped me be present in the moment since I often find myself living in a rush. My mind sometimes is a battlefield; I am bombarded with a thousand thoughts per second. So this is why I take this break. I need those five minutes a day to find my inner peace.

 

 

Emotions

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There is nothing that makes me feel more alive than singing. It is my way of coping with all kind of emotions.

Every time I find the melody of what I am feeling I write it down and turn it into a song. Sometimes it gets so personal that I record it just for myself. You see, when I sing I have no armor, only raw emotions from deep inside. Depending on my mood I could write a happy song, a dance song, a mellow song or just let it go and write something that helps me get through things that hurt.

All of us have a way to process emotions, all of us feel overwhelmed sometimes and it is ok so crumble a little. Letting go is what makes us stronger. How we react to a given situation makes us so unique. There is always something that makes us feel more alive than ever.

Embrace it.

I want to dedicate today’s post to letting go of unhealthy emotions, unhealthy relationships, self-pity, grudges, bad memories and anything that makes you unhappy. Give thanks for everything you have instead of complaining for everything you are missing. «Thank you» is as powerful as «I love you», because behind those two there is always kindness…