I really tried…

IMG_4978

 

When I was a little girl I tried to look like my mom. I looked up to her and I thought she was the most beautiful woman alive. She was a model back in her days and when I saw her pictures I was proud showing it to all my friends telling them how beautiful my mom was. I wanted to be just like her.

After I grew up, circa 11 years, I wanted to be like my dad; funny and witty. I loved that about him. So I mimicked all his jokes.

In school I tried to fit in the «popular» group and after some failures, I tried to fit in the «rebel» kids group. No success at all. 

Once I reached high school, my goal was to be a dancer, so I followed my inspirations (Polina Semionova and Alessandra Ferri) and tried to be like them. I wanted to dance just like them (just to find out that I had my own way of dancing and it was pretty cool too.)

I tried to be a normal girl: I tried to fit in so many groups that it made me the most unhappy person in the whole world. I spent time with people I didn’t like just to «fit in», I partied, I drank and I even started smoking. Deep inside I hated all those things.

So I have come to the conclusion that I really don’t have to «fit» anywhere. I fit me. I am me. I have my good and my bad traits. I am stubborn, nervous and sometimes grumpy. But I am also kind, organized and funny (well I think I am). I love to dance and sing. I would never picture myself having a girly night out or clubbing until I drop. I don’t like crowds so I don’t like concerts (except Britney’s).

Normal is overrated. Don’t fit it, stand out.

Be you, I know you are pretty awesome. 

 

Inner peace

«Not all those who wander are lost» 

-J.R.R Tolkien

hamacapequena

Everyday I take a five minute break where I calmly wander. I do this alone and find it really soothing. It has helped me be present in the moment since I often find myself living in a rush. My mind sometimes is a battlefield; I am bombarded with a thousand thoughts per second. So this is why I take this break. I need those five minutes a day to find my inner peace.

 

 

Thank you

playa thank you

This post was inspired by a fragment of last week’s post «Emotions». I wrote about how the word «Thank you» is as powerful as «I love you».

I believe that being grateful can change your whole world. Sometimes you don’t mean it when you say it, maybe other times is just a natural reaction to an act of kindness, but what’s really important is to feel it.

A couple of years ago I used to complain about everything. I use to wake up in a bad mood, brush my teeth, take a shower and while I did those things I was complaining. I complained about my past and some terrible things I went through. Then my day would go on and this constant emotional baggage would accompany me until I went to sleep at night. I cried, I complained a little more, eventually I slept.

I am not going to sit here and tell you all about my magic transformation and the tragedy that inspired it because I’ll be lying. I am going to tell you how now, before complaining about anything, I think about something I am grateful for. It changes my whole perspective of the situation.

It makes me a happier person to count my blessing than to count all the things that make me unhappy. There is always something to be grateful for. Always.

So today I would also like to thank YOU. For reading this, whoever you are, wherever you are in the world, whatever you believe in.

 

 

 

Emotions

164146_501694342659_7863016_n

There is nothing that makes me feel more alive than singing. It is my way of coping with all kind of emotions.

Every time I find the melody of what I am feeling I write it down and turn it into a song. Sometimes it gets so personal that I record it just for myself. You see, when I sing I have no armor, only raw emotions from deep inside. Depending on my mood I could write a happy song, a dance song, a mellow song or just let it go and write something that helps me get through things that hurt.

All of us have a way to process emotions, all of us feel overwhelmed sometimes and it is ok so crumble a little. Letting go is what makes us stronger. How we react to a given situation makes us so unique. There is always something that makes us feel more alive than ever.

Embrace it.

I want to dedicate today’s post to letting go of unhealthy emotions, unhealthy relationships, self-pity, grudges, bad memories and anything that makes you unhappy. Give thanks for everything you have instead of complaining for everything you are missing. «Thank you» is as powerful as «I love you», because behind those two there is always kindness…