Poison Ivy: Anger


So the story is this: there I was in a meeting hearing what the other person was saying trying to focus when all of a sudden I feel a disco ball with neon lights behind my right eye. I thought for a second I was dazzled my the ray of sun coming through the window but no, it was an ocular migraine. I don’t get those often, they tend to be triggered by specific things and tend to hit when you least expect them. I obviously had to stop the meeting because I couldn’t see straight and was feeling very dizzy.

So what triggered this? Stress.

The problem is not stress perse but my attitude towards it. In the past few weeks I was angry at people for past discussions, started to feel resentful against them and there was a lot of negative energy around me. This happened because I never said anything when I had to. So the anger really was more towards myself than towards the others.

I am angry but I have to transform that anger into something else or I might just stay in bed half blind with neon lights that go on and off in my eye. The anger is in me because I let it in. The other person is not harmed or alarmed by «my» anger. They simply don’t care. So instead of being angry I am letting it go. I am learning from each situation I put myself into and try to understand «why is this happening over and over again?» and «what is that I have to learn from this situation so it doesn’t repeat itself?».

My body is warning me with ocular migraines. What is your body telling you? Pain is your body setting an alarm to warn you that something is wrong.

Listen to it very carefully…

I have shared this in past posts but I think it is worthy to share it again: «holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die».

Screenshot 2016-04-22 12.00.38